Guts Level: Probably Gonna Regret This Later But YOLO
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: Goro finally has the Guts to ask Ren out. Err. In a way…


Summary: Goro finally has the Guts to ask Ren out. Err. In a way…

 _Note: look i cant even ignore the latest episode even though i didnt even watch the thing. docx._

 **Warnings: Dramatic Antics™, Goro Is Horrible He Needs A Baseball Bat To The Head, Someone Help Ren He Needs It, Inspired By Latest Anime Episode, People Don't Follow In Goro's Example Please, From Author To Goro: Fuck You Kindly.**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

.

"Go out with me," A voice spoke right into his ear, and Ren leaped in surprise to slam his back against the nearest wall before he looked around in bewilderment, trying to figure out if he imagined it or not.

He didn't.

Right where he stood was Goro staring at him smugly, "What? Did that surprise you? I thought you had Lionhearted Guts," He cooed, and Ren wanted to punch the smirk off his face.

"You snuck up on me," Ren hissed, disgruntled, lips pressed together in a thin line-

"You're pouting," Goro pointed out, clearly amused.

" _I'm not!_ " Ren snapped.

"Whatever you say, _honey_." Goro fluttered his eyelashes flirtatiously, "Who'd ever think the great Phantom Thief Joker can get this easily flustered?"

Ren crossed his arms together, and scowled, "What. Did. You. Want." He ground out, and Goro hummed.

"I said: go out with me."

Ren let his arms drop to the side, " _What?_ "

"You heard me." Goro smiled winningly.

"I did." Ren blinked owlishly, "Did you, the Detective Prince Akechi Goro who's after the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, just ask me, the poor sod you're _somehow_ absolutely convinced is the infamous _Phantom Thief Joker himself_ , out on a date?"

"Yes. And it's not just that I'm convinced that you're Joker. I _know_ you're Joker."

Ren sent him a deadpan stare.

"Now, about my request…"

Ren sighed, his shoulders drooping, "You're not going to drop this, are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine. I'll. Go out with you. Or. Whatever. Where do you want to go anyway? Or what do you even want to do? What do detectives even _do_ when they're busy _harassing poor, innocent, high school students_ anyway?"

Goro grinned sharply, causing Ren to straighten and press his back against the wall again, "I was thinking chess," He purred, eyes half-lidded.

"Chess?" Ren squeaked out; he was more of a shogi person, he was going to be _screwed_ , metaphorically.

"And coffee." Goro nodded, looking satisfied with himself (and _of course_ he was, he had Ren cornered and _knew_ it), "Don't worry; I'll go easy on you."

Ren grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes at Goro from behind his glasses; forget what he said earlier, he would make sure he made the game the worst Goro ever participated in.

" _You're on_."

Goro's grin widened and his eyes glinted as he eyed Ren like a piece of particularly tasty meat (which- _ew_ ), " _Wouldn't have it any other way_."

.

"Checkmate!" Goro crowed, throwing his head back to let out a particularly sinister sounding (cackle) chuckle.

"You sound like an anime villain," Ren groused, pouting as he poked at his remaining knight piece.

Goro gasped dramatically, one hand clutching at his heart (and he had the _gall_ to act like he had one, Ren seethed), "How dare you! You _wound_ me!"

Ren scoffed, and Goro slipped out of his dramatic pose, expression loosening to a relaxed one.

"I had a lot of fun."

"Of course you did, you pulverized me."

Goro chuckled, "Here's to hoping one day in the future I can pulverize you in bed." He sent Ren a hooded stare full of meaning.

Ren let out a choked sound, "In your dreams!"

"I already enjoy your company in my dreams, honey."

Ren whined, "I did not need to know that!"

"Didn't you?" Goro widened his eyes in innocence. Ren was not deceived.

"You had your fun, now beat it! Shoo!"

Goro pouted, giving him a mock hurt look, "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted-"

"Do you, really?"

"-so I'll be taking my leave now, see you soon, darling." Goro blew him a kiss and sashayed out of Leblanc.

Ren was tempted to throw a cup of coffee at him, but Sojiro would make him pay for it with his sweat, blood, and tears, so he refrained.

Why did they have to come to Leblanc anyway?

That asshole, acting all high and mighty, telling Ren that he saw him in his dreams like it was nothing to stress about-

Blood rushed to his cheeks and he groaned, dropping his flaming face to his hands- Goro dreamed about him, what the hell? What _the ever loving fuck?_ What did Goro _see_ in his dreams? What did Dream Ren _do_ usually in Goro's dreams?

Did they, perhaps, kiss and have se-

Ren flopped to the side in the booth as his thoughts degenerated into one incoherent jumble.

.

Goro closed the door to his apartment behind him after he entered it and dropped his body against it before he slid down to the ground, face growing redder by the second until it reached unhealthy amounts of blushing. He curled his hand into a fist and stuffed it into his mouth to muffle the screech that wanted to erupt.

He never had this many Regrets in his whole life. He couldn't believe he was so bold with Ren today- he could not believe he basically told Ren to his face that he had _wet dreams_ about him.

Oh, sweet embrace of oblivion, where art thou…

.

End

[throws hands in the air] I don't even know at this point…


End file.
